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I’m No Angel

Posted on January 11, 2007January 11, 2007 By sweet surrender 18 Comments on I’m No Angel

I don’t know but this is just me. It’s very hard to comprehend, very irrationale but it’s in me ever since I’m in this world. I don’t think I can ever change. You know… The kind of feeling when you meet somebody and immediately your instinct tells you that “Hmm… I like this person”/”Shit! I hate him/her” even before you get to know him/her or even before he/she utters the first word to you? He/She had never even offended you but you had already form negative feelings towards him/her straight away?

I’m this kind of person. I don’t know why. From then on, I will try to avoid being in the same place as that person or even involve in anything that related to him/her because if I do, my blood will boil without any reason and I can get really “TULAN” until I can be very hostile to him/her even boycott anything that related to him/her. So to avoid this to happen, I will stay as far away as possible with that person.

The good thing about this instinct is that most of the time, it protects me from getting hurt but sometimes the feelings will also affect those around me especially when that person is related to another person that I like. I really can’t help it. It happens to me now! -_-“

Not only that, I’m quite a revengeful person. If you hurt me, I’m going to make sure that I hurt you even more; If you are good to me, I’m going to be super duper good to you. It goes the same if you are bad to my friends or family. You hurt them, I’m going to hurt you even more. As simple as that. As a Christian, we are told to be a forgiving person but I fail miserably in this chapter. *LOL* I’m so sorry lar… I really cannot see those that are close to me getting hurt. Those that hurt my close ones stand no chance to be forgiven if they don’t change; If they do change, then I will forgive them.

You can see that these 2 traits are quite contradicting when it comes to certain scenarios. Nevermind about that, it’s very hard for me to explain. *SIGH* Due to that instinct, I guess I really hurt the other person’s feelings very badly 🙁 today. I really can’t help it! I can’t control it! What should I do? Apologize? Or act as if nothing had happened before? *SIGH*

Heart Matters

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Comments (18) on “I’m No Angel”

  1. Alex says:
    January 11, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    Hey there. Happy New Year to you 🙂 I know it’s late, but it’s better late than never rite 😛

    Anyway, take it easy.. Put it this way.. U get older faster when ur angry or upset… Anyway, New Year, New Resolution.. I still wasn’t able to fufill my last year resolution, instead it went the other way by gaining 5 more kgs.. X_X

    Have a nice day!

  2. sweet surrender says:
    January 11, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    Hehehhe… 🙂 Glad I don’t have any resolution. Haven’t seen you for quite sometimes. Hopefully you can fulfill it this year. Can you? 😛

  3. pretenders says:
    January 11, 2007 at 11:35 pm

    just take a deep breath….swallow ur pride…and says to urself and the Big Guy, “whatever they ever did, i forgive them/i let it all go”… la la la li la, off u goes….

    just imagine this person never existed before…. try it, u may felt less burden this way.

  4. sweet surrender says:
    January 11, 2007 at 11:38 pm

    How can? It’s not that I’m blind hahahaha…

  5. pretenders says:
    January 11, 2007 at 11:46 pm

    never try never know….

    dun be so bad lar u…hahahahaha…..

    angry petite woman can be scary :p

  6. sweet surrender says:
    January 11, 2007 at 11:47 pm

    I want! I want! I don’t care!

  7. pretenders says:
    January 11, 2007 at 11:51 pm

    *grab irene and start spanking her buttock*

    mwhahahaha…

  8. sweet surrender says:
    January 12, 2007 at 9:10 am

    Very naughty.

  9. miracle8 says:
    January 12, 2007 at 5:48 pm

    I suppose all you can do is to avoid the person. Act busy and look like you’re thinking something important… 😀

  10. Alex says:
    January 12, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    Hey Irene. Yeah been busy for the past few weeks, that’s why lack of updates and all. Well, this year might need to work twice as hard as I need to lose the 5kg that I gain last year, and another 5 more for my resolution last year.. Hahaha.

    OH yeah, regarding your ad, will it be a one time fee or a monthly fee?

  11. sweet surrender says:
    January 12, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    Miracle8, yealo… the only way is to avoid that person.

    Alex, it’s one time fee and you can specify ur preferred duration, no matter how long, it’s still the same price. Hehehe… hopefully u can lose those weight but I kinda doubt it 😛

  12. jam says:
    June 7, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    It’s actually down to your self defensive mechanism. I was a bit like you too. I can like and hate someone without a clear reason in it. If people do bad things on me, I will put in my heart for long. So shameful being a christian… I think these are all because I was bullied a lot during my young age. And now, I will never let any chance for people to do it on me again.

  13. sweet surrender says:
    June 7, 2007 at 4:21 pm

    Oh well, what to do? We are just human.

  14. Wilson says:
    June 8, 2007 at 2:48 pm

    that is what you call forgive but not forget…
    are you a cancerian? lol…
    its their trait…

  15. sweet surrender says:
    June 8, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    I’m a virgo! Hahaha…

  16. Wilson says:
    June 8, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    no no no… not you…. jam la…
    “I think these are all because I was bullied a lot during my young age”
    can you really forget that?

  17. sweet surrender says:
    June 8, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    Cheh… Perasan 😛 Paiseh… You should address him mar else who knows who you are talking too.

  18. Pingback: 7 Facts/Habits Of Me | Sweet Surrender v8.0

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