Category: 1st Love

…continue from Chapter 4: My Worries(1)

The followings are some of my worries that I don’t even remember what kind of responses he gave. Can’t really recall much. Sometimes he didn’t respond to it as it’s just something that you can’t give a definite answer when the time hasn’t come yet. Also sometimes it’s just my ramblings and rantings only hahaha… It just passed by like that.

1. You want me to move to Singapore still not enough and want me to move to Perth summore. I will have to start my life all over again. I don’t like this feeling.

2. You want your children to grow up in Australia but you are based in Singapore, that would mean when children come I won’t be in Singapore with you and instead you send me to Australia with the children. So unfair!

3. You are so much older than me, by the time when we have children you will be quite old already. Will you be able to chase them around?

4. Please keep my contact safely. In case something happen to you I will know. I don’t want to be in the dark not knowing anything. No one knows about our relationship for now and there won’t be anyone that can tell me about it if something really happen to you.

Point number 4 is my biggest fear and it happened. My big mouth!

Basically that’s all. I can’t remember anymore. I thought I can recall many but it seems like they are indeed fading.

To be continued…

…continue from Chapter 3: The Proposal

There are so many things that I worried about. I’m going to list them out, the responses are not his actual words, just sounded similar, impossible I can recall every single words right? These are all my worries that I “voiced” out to him during our chats and e-mails.

1. You are 13 years my senior! What will people around say? It’ll be like a father bringing a daughter out! My parents are certainly going to object! They are going to kill me for this!
Age is just a number. Don’t care about what people think, you don’t do anything wrong. Told you I looked young, don’t worry. As for your parents, that shouldn’t be a problem. I’m trained to face various challenges and this is just one that I need to go tru’. I’m sure they will not object. Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.

2. Worst! You’re a pilot! I heard my parents lamented before that pilots are playboys. How are they going to accept you!?!?
Don’t stereotype! We all know there are pilots who are playboys. There are even school teachers who are playboys. You don’t judge a person based on his/her job. I’m not like them. I don’t do such silly things that will put my health and career in jeopordy. I can convince them.

3. You smoke! This is enough for them to not like you! I’m very sensitive to cigarette smoke also. I could even sneeze for days when exposed to it, it irritates my nose. You said that you don’t want to jeopordize your health but you smoke! How am I going to live under one roof with you? You will make me sick!
I quit. I just went cold turkey when I was in Perth having a drink with my friend. I asked him for a stick and realised that I no longer like it and I don’t smoke since then.

4. You are always away from home. If I’m working, I might not be able to spend time with you. When you’re home, I’ll be out working; when I’m home, you’ll be out working. It’s not like you are flying to any place near, your routes require nigthstops, you don’t fly and come back on the same day. How?
You don’t have to work. I can pay for all your expenses. I will be bringing you along to work. I have my own suite when we reach the destination, you will be sharing the suite with me. Since you did mention before that you want to be an air-stewardess and you are not qualified, I’m going to make your flying dream come true. You will fly with me, we will travel the world together. You will experience the life of flying except my colleague will be serving you instead of you serving the passengers.

5. Travel with you? WOW! But… It’s not possible as I don’t think I can apply for so many leaves. I want to have my own career also, I don’t want to depend on you too much. I know you can afford it, I don’t have to worry about where will our next meal come from but I don’t want to be a parasite.
(That was last time hahaha… I wanted to be successful businesswoman, making tonnes of money but over time I found out that I don’t, it’s not my cup of tea. I hate the typical hours of working. I want to be as free as possible, I want to work at my own pace, my own time, my own style. I want something relaxing and can make money at the same time like blogging hahaha…)
You can have your own career by venturing into writing since you like to write a lot. You can do it anytime, anywhere. All you need is laptop and Internet. You can do it.
But… My writing is bad! I cannot write professionally. Sure will be people’s laughing stock.(If only there’s such thing as paid posts back then hahaha…)
I believe you can.
(See… See… He had made his point and that’s what I’m doing now 😛 *LOL*)

6. But… When children come, I can’t travel with you anymore. You are going to leave me alone to tend to the children and you are seldom at home. I can’t do it on my own.
I’m planning for early retirement. I want to go back to Australia and raise our children there. I believe in quality time instead of quantity. The average couples might have a lot of time to be with each other and their families but mostly they take it for granted. Quantity is not important, the quality is.

There are some more but I can only recall these for the time being. To be continued…

…Continue from Chapter 2: Missing In Action

We started to chat about personal stuffs and get to know more about each other. I did told him that I think I had a crush on him too! *LOL* He’s cool with that. He told me to e-mail him if I missed him, he said that he loved to read my mails. I didn’t really take it seriously because it’s just a crush and I’m sure he was just playing along.

One day(I think is after CNY), we had a chat on MSN(not actual conversation, just sounded this way)…

Me: How much you make as a pilot? What’s your salary? (*LOL* I’m so kaypo don’t you think? Hahaha…)
He: Why do you want to know?
Me: Just curious ;p
He: Basic income is S$(I can’t remember the actual figure, converted to MYR is 6-figure) per annum, add on with allowances that can go up to S$(I can’t remember the actual figure, converted to MYR is 5-figure), deduct the taxes and I’m left with S$(I can’t remember the actual figure, converted to MYR is 6-figure).
Me: WAH!
He: I don’t simply tell people how much I’m making except some of my friends and my family.
Me: WOW! You told me, then I can consider myself very lucky.
He: You want to marry me?
Me: HUH!?!?! Marry you?*So shocked and happy, got people propose to me!* I’m not even your gf and you’re asking me to be your wife?!?!?
He: Com’on, want to my girl? I know you want to.
Me: Errmmm… I do have a crush on you but that doesn’t mean I love you. Summore you are so much older than me…
He: I don’t look that old, many people thought that I’m still in my twenties, I have baby face. Don’t worry. Who knows people might even say that you are older than me HAHAHA…
Me: Eeeeeeeeeeeeee… Hahahaha… I can’t make up my mind… I have feelings for you but I’m not sure it’s real or just a crush. Besides that, you’re in Singapore. I dare not to commit into this kind of relationship.
He: Singapore is so near. It’s only less than 2 hours flight from Kuching. You got daily direct flight also, I can afford to pay your flights, you get to stay in my condo also. There’re also MSN, e-mail and telephone. Why worry?
Me: Errr… -.-‘ Since I do have feelings for you and you ask me to be your girl… How about you be my cyber-bf!(come to think of it now, it’s rather childish hahaha…)
He: Ok… We’ll be open to each other and share everything with each other, we will get to know each other better in no time! The advantage we have compare to normal couples is that we actually interact more than them.
Me: We will see by then, if it goes well then I might consider to be your real gf. If you do find someone in the process, I’ll be happy to let you go.
He: Do e-mail me as much as you can, I love to read your love letters!
Me: Those mails you considered as love letters?!?!?
He: Yes.
Me: *In cloud 9 already* OK… I will e-maill you as much as I can until your mailbox burst!

We started to share about ourselves such as the expectations in a relationship, what we like and dislike, worries, told me his stories etc. online via MSN and e-mail. I’m still not convinced because I’m worry, there are so many things to worry about.

To be continued…

…continue from Chapter 1: Hello Stranger

I ignored the feelings as I think it might just be a crush. He did ask for my phone number but I didn’t give him because I won’t give him my home number. I told him to wait till I got a mobile phone. On my birthday, I got a mobile phone and I immediately gave him my phone number after I bought the SIM pack. However, he never called, I didn’t mind, even if he did call, I’d be speechless hahaha… We just interacted via e-mail and MSN like usual.

It happened that I was going to Singapore for a holiday with Ann few days before 2003 Christmas. I told him about it and we were thinking of meeting up in Singapore since he’ll be in Singapore during that period of time as he and his friends had promised the children at The Salvation Army that they’ll be bringing them out to play. They did it annually. WAH! Such a nice guy! He said he would call me when I’m there to arrange where to meet. He also gave me his Celcom number as he said he would on his phone during that time in case I wanted to contact him. I also consulted him about how to make roaming calls in Singapore because I have totally no idea how even with some examples given in DiGi’s website.

Finally the day came, I reached Singapore and wanted to contact him but my auto roaming seemed not working. I was so worry that he won’t be able to contact me and I have no Internet access that time to e-mail him about it. However, the auto roaming did work at the end. I tried to call him to give him a surprise but it never got tru’ because it’s off. Oh well… I called everyday and couldn’t get hold of him. He’s missing in action. Don’t care! I’ll just have fun with Ann.

When I got back to Kuching after the 3 days 2 nights holiday in Singapore, I immediately e-mail him to ask him about it. No immediate reply of course, no MSN as usual because he’s not the kind that stucked to the computer like us 24/7 hahaha… He only onlined when he’s free. I couldn’t remember when he replied me. I think it’s in 2004. He was finally back in Singapore and was busy.

He told me he had totally forgotten about my trip to Singapore because he was pre-occupied with some investigations on the stupid act that his crews did while on the job and he was stranded in Taipei to assist the investigation as he’s the commander of the flight. He was promoted to captain not long ago and got into such shit that made him so stress out and totally forgotten about everything. The first officer and one of the cabin crews actually decided to join the mile high club while on duty! Horrible! The result… The co-pilot was demoted to fly shorter route and the air-stewardess was fired because they found out that she had engaged in some immoral activities that would jeapordize the airline’s image. So… What do you learn here? Hahaha… Don’t play play while you’re working!

To be continued…

Somewhere in 2003, I was busy with in my studies online(I was doing e-learning for my degree) and suddenly a pop-up from my MSN asked me to approve the add to list request, I saw unfamiliar e-mail address and nickname, I did not simply give out my MSN even until now. So I thought this person might be someone that I had given my MSN before and he might be using other nickname when interacting with me in mIRC or ICQ. I just approved it and didn’t bother about it.

Next day, I on my MSN and saw this person online and decided to check out the identity. The following conversations aren’t the actual one but something similar:

Me: Hi… Do I know you?
He: I’m Kevin.
Me: Kevin who? I don’t think I know anyone by the name of Kevin.
He: I’m the pilot.
Me: Huh? *BLUR* Since when I got to know a pilot? Not even in my dream.
He: You don’t remember me?
Me: Ummm… Did I ever chat with you in mIRC or ICQ?
He: No. I don’t have those.
Me: Then where you got my MSN?
He: You gave it to me.
Me: *MORE BLUR* Hmmm… Where you’re from?
He: Singapore.
Me: Singapore?!?!? I don’t know anyone from Singapore.
He: You’re Irene right?
Me: Yeap…
He: How about you? Where you’re from?
Me: Kuching. How old are you?
He: 34 but I don’t look 34 hahaha… Kuching is my hometown, the last time I went back was 1997 before SIA ceased the direct SIN-KCH sector.
Me: Wah… The world is so small. You’re so old hahaha…
He: You?
Me: Only 21.
He: So young.
Me: Married?
He: No.
Me: How come? 😛 You’re a playboy?
He: No. I haven’t meet the right person.
Me: OooOoOoOoo…

(I can’t remember what else we chatted anymore at this point)

So we chatted and chatted and since I’m so suaku, I mean a PILOT! Com’on, how many of you can get to know a pilot if you are not in the airline industry or have friends who are pilots!?!? Normal people like us don’t get this chance everyday. Getting to know a pilot is really a big deal! *LOL* Being a very curious girl, I sure had a lot of questions to ask. Summore I wanted to be an air-stewardess before but hahaha… I’m too short. So I got to know a pilot of course I’m going to ask him all the things that I’m interested about working high up in the sky.

So… That’s how we got to know each other. We would chat and catch up with each other whenever we met online. Sometimes my curiousity made me e-mail him when he’s not online. I’m the girl that kept bombarding him with all the why, how, where, who, what… It was so funny as if he knew everything.

It’s getting more and more interesting and I noticed that I started to miss him when he wasn’t online for few days or weeks. Everytime I thougth of him, I’ll just sent him an e-mail with tonnes of questions and he would reply when he’s free or when we met online.

To be continued…