Category: 1st Love

Continue from Chapter 9: I’m Relocating…

After the transition period, finally he started working in October 2004. I remember that his first flight with his new company was to Guam. As time went by, he got busier and didn’t contact me as much as he used to because of different time zones, the routes and roster were very different from his previous company. He’s tired most of the time and would went straight to sleep after his flight sometimes even without changing his uniform.

I didn’t get his phone calls, even not responding to my e-mails. At least he did on his MSN sometimes and we managed to chat a bit and replied my e-mails in there. One day in October, I finally got an e-mail from him. It’s rare to get an e-mail from him from Frankfurt or is it Copenhagen(don’t remember). I was so excited! The e-mail was the best e-mail ever, everytime I read it I would be in tears. According to his e-mail, he typed it quite sometimes ago but saved it in draft and decided to send it out to me because he missed me so badly. It was really touching.

After this e-mail, nothing again… Until… 25th December 2004, the e-mail to wish me Merry Chirstmas and to tell me that he’s busy, he’s in Copenhagen and it was freezing and he would contact me after 6th January 2005 which he would be freerer by then because the holiday season would be over. Also, he would be spending his new year in LA. I replied him saying that it’s the best Christmas present ever and looking forward for him to contact me.

6th January 2005, I was hoping he would call but no, not even a single e-mail or anything. I waited thinking that he might be busy. Until few days later, I got an e-mail with his name as the subject, I thought it was junk, so I sent it to junk folder but there’s a little voice that asked me to check the mail, I opened it, read it, I thought it was a prank but my hands started to shiver, my chest tightening, my eyes filled with tears, part of me still thought that it’s a prank as he told me he would be in LA for new year, how was it possible he went to Phuket!?!?

I quickly sent an e-mail to him about it. At the same time, replied to the person that sent me the e-mail. I kept reading the mail over and over again to find some clues that it’s not real. I didn’t sleep that night, I was worried, I was afraid, I’ve been crying quietly. I was hoping it’s a prank and kept praying and praying.

Next day in the office, I checked my mail and saw that person replied saying that they were still looking for him and he went there because he managed to secure leaves to go back to his hometown(Kuching) but before that he would spend 3 days at Phuket. There wasn’t a sign of him replying me. Everything shattered into pieces. It got worst when I found out that he was supposed to come here to meet me. I tried to hide my feelings as if nothing happened. I’m still trying to be hopeful that he would be found alive but sadly later that night, I got another e-mail confirming that he’s gone.

I was still in doubt, I demanded on how he was able to get my e-mail. I was told that his PDA was stored in the hotel’s safe, this is the only thing spared from the tragedy, his laptop and everything were damaged. His mother asked that person to send out e-mails to everyone in his PDA to inform them about the tragedy that hit him.

I’m glad he did keep my contact safely as I told him about my concern before. If the PDA was not in the safe, I would be in dark, I might not know his fate, I might labelled him as someone bad because he “played” with my feelings and went missing out of a sudden. I’m glad it didn’t end that way.

There wasn’t a goodbye in his last e-mail. There would never be one. The rest is history.

Here I am, sharing this with you. I thought I would finish this story without much emotions but I was so wrong. I was already in tears when I’m in the second paragraph. It’s not that I can’t let go of him, it’s just something sad, the worst thing that happened to me so far. Our relationship was brief but I learnt a lot from him. It had changed my life perspectives and things happened for a reason. We were not meant to be but I’m meant to be with someone else.

To you-know-who-you-are, if it’s not for him, we won’t know each other. You are who you are. I hope things will work out for us. I hope it will go well. Thanks for that phone call the other day. I’ve not been experiencing such warm fussy feelings ever since his dismiss. You had made my day. Miss you.

…continue from Chapter 8: I Feel You…

I’m almost done with my degree, planning to look for job in Kuching and at the same time look out for a job in Singapore because I want to be closer to him. It was the only way I could go to Singapore and live there.

One day, he sent me an e-mail telling me that he’s relocating. He’s going to be based in Sydney and will be joining the national carrier of Australia. I was stunned. I had made up my mind and took up my courage to go to Singapore to work so that I could be with him and he gave me this kind of news. It’s enough that we’re in two different places divided by the South China Sea and now he wanted to relocate to another place divided by the Indian Ocean! Even further than Singapore. Of course I voiced my concern to him but at the same time there is no way I could stop him from pursuing his career and earn more money. I wanted him to retire early as well. I had to scrap my idea of working in Singapore.

The time came, I had my last paper, I went for a job interview and I got the job one week after my exam and few days after my birthday. During that time, he was busy settling his properties in Singapore and getting ready for the job in Sydney. Since he’s not working, he called me almost everyday! I started working and he called me every morning while I’m working. I spent almost 30 minutes to hour talking to him in my phone at the same time do my work. It’s a very bad working attitude, very bad… I know that but what to do?

Morning was usually the time we would be able to talk to each other when I was doing my degree and it’s the most convenient time. Other times, I didn’t have much privacy at home to talk to him. So with me started working, there wasn’t much time we could talk to each other. I even chatted to him everyday in MSN during working hours too! Worst still, we could chat in MSN and talk in the phone at the same time because sometimes there were words that cannot be said, everyone in the office would be hearing them, I would type it out in MSN.

Finally, he’s at Sydney for good. Looking for a new apartment while staying at the apartment that the airline provided and he managed to bought a car, a BMW Z4 which I later found out from his sister after his dismiss, it’s a Ferrari! *FAINT* His sister told me even his mom didn’t know about it, he knew we would nag him for spending such money, that’s why he didn’t tell us. When he bought the car, he told me he would be getting his car where the salesman would send the car straight to him to hand him the key and he would be joining the club’s meeting that night. I felt quite strange and thinking, “WOW! Such 5 stars service even have an exclusive club!”. I didn’t ask further though. Now I know. It’s a Ferrari, that’s why there’s such great customer service and even exclusive club!

Back to the relocation, he was thinking of buying a yacth which I didn’t really agree, still I let him make his own decision, I knew he would get one eventually. Few months back, he bought an aircraft, 4-seater if not mistaken and managed to flew his parents to Adelaide. I had no chance, was eagerly waiting for my chance.

He didn’t manage to find a suitable apartment yet, everyday he would go to the nearest Internet centre to online as the apartment he’s staying didn’t have Internet access. He told me that people kept staring at him when he drove his car to the Internet centre to online. He said to me that those people must be thinking, “Own such expensive car and cannot afford a laptop and Internet connection?!?!?” *LOL*

It went on for few weeks until he started working in October 2004.

To be continued…

…continue from Chapter 7: The Dream

It’s strange how I could feel him. How?

Since he’s a pilot, most of the time he might have to wake up very early in the morning or odd hours either when we were on the same side of the world or the other side of the world to get ready to work. Many times I would wake up in the middle of the night and would try to see what time it was. Then after that I would go back to sleep.

It’s not one time but many times. It’s quite strange. I asked him what he’s been up to when he’s online or called me, he would tell me everything starting from the time he woke up. That’s how I realised those were the times when I woke up in the middle of the night to look at the clock, those were actually the time he woke up!

Besides that, sometimes, out of sudden I would have butterflies in my stomach. I had no idea why until I found out from our conversation either online or on the phone that I had butterflies in my stomach when he thought of me! *BLUSH* I didn’t tell him anything about this. He’s the one that told me he had thought of me during so and so time. Those were the times the butteflies attacked me!

There were also times I actually woke up in the middle of the night because of the butteflies! While I was sleeping, he’s working, flying long haul on the B744. During his flight, when there’s not much to do in the cockpit, he would think of me and smile to himself. His co-pilot would sometimes tease him about it. That’s the time I would wake up suddenly because my stomach was full of butterflies! Also, when he’s at the other side of the world, wide awake and thought of me, I would wake up suddenly because of that feeling too.

After so many experiences like this, I was sure that I could feel him. I did tell him about it after quite sometimes and of course we’re happy about it. He never felt me though… I guess… He never told me about it except telling me that he thought of me and he missed me.

This is one amazing thing that could happen when you are in love. Isn’t love a beautiful thing?

To be continued…

I know, I know… It’s been more than one month already that I didn’t continue my story. Since it’s Valentine’s day today, I will continue the story from Chapter 6: The First Phone Call…

One morning he called me right after he woke up, I just woke up that time too. He told me that he dreamt of me. ME TOO!!! The weirdest thing was that we dreamt about almost the same thing on the same night!!

His version:
We were at Coffee Bean having a drink, I ordered Latte and he ordered Cappuccino. After the drink, we went to the beach and he taught me how to jetski. After jetski, we sat on the beach watching the sunset, kiss and made out under the coconut trees at the beach!

My version:
We were at the beach. He taught me how to jetski. After he’s confident that I could do it on my own, he just stood at the beach and watched. I’m a PRO! Pro in really really PRO! He was stunned. I told him that I know how to jetski just that I wanted him to “teach” me. After that, we just sat under the coconut trees at the beach and watched the sunset.

He told me his dream before I told him mine. When he told me I was like you-are-kidding-me. OH MY! There were just so many similarities!!

1. The beach
2. Watching sunset under the coconut trees
3. Jetski except I’m a pro in my dream, I’m a beginner in his dream

See the the connections?

In my real life, I won’t order latte as I’m not a coffee drinker.
In my real life, I’ve never been on a jetski.
In my real life, I won’t make out under the coconut trees at the beach!

I think we got this dream because we were chatting about jetskiing the other day. He liked to jetski and he owned one/two(can’t recall or did he sold one off) jetski(s)(two different horsepowers of course) in Singapore. He would go out to the sea to jetski with his friends when they are free.

This dream is special and unique to us. After this dream, we never had any kind of dream similar to this.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. May you live happily ever after with your prince/princess.

…continue from Chapter 5: My Worries(2)

After few weeks of MSN and e-mails, he called. I wasn’t prepared for it as I didn’t expect that he would call and took it so seriously. On a very hot Saturday, few hours after I chatted with him, my phone rang. The number was a KL’s number, I thought it might be wrong number, I answered and…

Me & Him: Hello.
Me & Him: *QUIET*
Me & Him: Hello.
(After few times)
Him: Hello, can I speak to Irene.
Me: Yes… Speaking. Who’s calling?
Him: You know… From Singapore, we chatted just now.
Me: *blur but thought that I know who’s calling* Hmmm… Kevin?
Him: Yes! How are you?
Me: Fine. How about you? You’re calling from Singapore, why KL’s number?
Him: Fine. I have nothing to do now, thought of you so call you up. KL’s number? I don’t know… I’m using the calling card to call.
Me: Oooo… *SPEECHLESS, heart beating so fast, sweating summore, it’s a hot afternoon summore*
Him: You want to be my girlfriend?
Me: Ummm… I… I… I don’t know… I’m speechless… I didn’t expect you to call… I… I… Don’t know -.-“
Him: Com’on, you know. It so hard for me to pick up this courage to call you up just to ask you this question OK? Finally I call and you tell me you don’t know. Please…
Me: Hmmm… Arrr… Ummm…
Him: Please… It’s not easy for me to do this. Be my girl please…
Me: *Very softly but still not so sure, since I’m still single, no harm to try* OK…
Him: OH! Thank you very much! I love you!
Me: *STUNNED* Huh? You say what?
Him: I said I love you!
Me: What? I didn’t get it.
Him: I know you did. You purposely want me to repeat hahaha… Naughty girl.
Me: Yeap… I just want to make sure I got it right.

After the above conversation, I can’t remember what else we chatted. I only remember we were on the phone for about 1-2 hours.

To be continued…