I have a dream(not revealing it now until it’s 100% confirmed). I let it go 6 years ago due to financial issue, then missed my chance 1 year later due to certain circumstances.
Last year, I took the leap, ventured into an unknown territory hoping to lay a foundation to my dream and it’s not cheap. During these period of time, there are moments when I felt like I could achieve it and moments when something would discourage me. Nothing else but it’s all money matters. Money oh money…
I was sort of being given the green light just now on the money part by my dad. I’m happy that I can at least be surer of my dream but at the same time I feel restless, worry, uncertain, bad, guilty, and selfish. I cannot achieve my dream with the money I have, even by digging my saving dry, I still can’t even cover 20% of my dream. I still have a brother that needs to continue his studies and a sister that is studying in UK. They also need the money too.
Thing is not happening for now but time will really fly and before you knew it, the time will be here. Early preparations are needed. There are so many arrangements that need to be made. Can’t wait till the last minute.
It’s a dream of mine, a chance that will not be given anymore if I let this one go and a huge decision to make at my age now as it will be a life changing event. At the end, it still boils down to money, nothing else. If there’s enough money, I will not have such mix feelings at all.
I know… Some of you will want to scold or lecture me for giving such burden to my parents when they should be enjoying their life with the money they are making for years and with my age now I shouldn’t be getting a single cent from them. What’s more just to fulfill my own dream. See… I know what you will be saying. So save your lectures on me. If I do not think this way, then do you think I will have such feelings?